Month / May 2014

Father and two daughers at a campground

1. S’MORES NO MORE. The days when my now teenaged daughters were willing to spend an entire weekend camping with their dad are long gone. As much attraction as fishing, canoeing and making S’mores by the campfire might have held, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I can no longer compete with malls and the endless supply they provide of clothing stores, ice cream shops and boys. (So now the tent is stored deep in the garage — it and me hoping it can come out of mothballs when they have kids!)

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Yearbook photographs

1. YESTERYEAR YUKS. To counter my bathroom mirror’s sad daily evidence of how much I’ve aged, I try to take comfort in remembering what a handsome young lad (at least I imagined!) I used to be. Too bad the only support I have for that contention are my high school and college yearbooks. And breaking those out sends my teenaged daughters into fits of hysterical laughter. I have to believe when they look at my graduation photos, it’s just the high school leisure suit and big glasses that they find so ridiculous. But I don’t test that assumption. Age has brought me one good thing – the wisdom to know when not to ask questions.

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A daughter's wall posters evolve from boy musicians to beefcake.

1. SCARY HUNKS. Who knew pictures on a bedroom wall could be so intimidating? But I sure started to worry (okay, panic) when the posters in my daughters’ bedroom of fresh-faced prepubescent boy singers were taken down and replaced with square-jawed, manly actors with five o’clock shadows and scarily suggestive twinkles in their eyes. For my own peace of mind, I probably should have recognized that teasing sign on the door – “No parents allowed” – as wise advice.

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His vs. hers beside tables

1. TABLE STUDY. All you need to do to quantify the vast differences between husbands and wives is inventory the contents of the tables on their respective sides of the marital bed. In my house it breaks down this way: MINE: Alarm clock. Eyeglass case. Lamp. HERS: Four pairs of variously colored drugstore eyeglasses. A professional journal to keep up with work stuff. A romance novel to decompress from work stuff. Three past issues of Oprah magazine. Two water bottles (to help meet those 8 recommended daily glasses!). Three varieties of cream – face, hand and body. One dish of assorted seashells (under a Reader’s Digest)…

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Things boys have to do to get prom dates

1. SO “PROMPOSAL” IS A REAL THING? It’s been fun to watch the boys in my town go to great lengths to ask my daughters and her friends to the junior prom. Signs have been made, cakes have been delivered, boys have gotten down on one knee. Of course, it’s all so much more elaborate than what my friends and I did 35 years ago. Back then, you just caught a girl between classes, popped the question in a quavering voice and hoped she wouldn’t embarrass you with a “No” within earshot of all the other kids passing by in the hall. And maybe that’s exactly why this generation of boys is so much cleverer than we were…

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