1. KANGAROO WEAR. Sometimes I carry a lot more gear than my pants have pockets for — not just the standards of keys, wallet and cell phone, but also prescription sunglasses, the current book that I might be reading, and an old iPod now that my iPhone storage has all been used up (amazing how quickly 16 gigabytes goes, isn’t it?) I have not yet found the perfect solution for transporting all this equipment “on my person” — though the search is critical given how costly it is to replace most of those items. My wife bought me a man purse, which I felt confidently metrosexual enough to try for a while, but it felt too cumbersome and too susceptible to the same risk we’ve faced with my wife’s (leaving it on the back of a restaurant chair). On a recent Saturday, when my family planned to head off for a day trip to Newport, Rhode Island, I came up with what I thought was a brilliant, multi-pocket solution — cargo pants and a fanny pack. But when my fashion-conscious oldest saw me in that get up, she was aghast and told me, “Dad, if you leave the house looking like that, I refuse to be seen with you.” Of course, I didn’t heed that warning. So that afternoon as we strolled the shops on Thames Street, she kept 10 paces behind me, which spared me from hearing requests like, “Dad, can I have 10 bucks to get one of those specialty cupcakes?” or “Dad, can I have 20 bucks because I just saw the most amazing earrings in that shop window?” So, all in all, donning my fashionista-repellent wear worked out perfectly for one of us.
Read More...Get funny parenting stories every week.
What is this silliness?
DAD FLASHES™ offers short, funny stories about parenting and marriage. They are shared by John Luiz, the lucky husband of Claudia Sheftel Luiz and the proud father of two teenaged girls.
Recent DAD FLASHES
- Am I a card-carrying member of the surly businessmen tribe? March 14, 2015
- Our dog sets a high standard for obedience that I can’t quite measure up to! February 28, 2015
- My girls’ hand jewelry qualifies them as effective bodyguards. February 21, 2015
- My wife exposes our kids to highbrow treats. I do the lowbrow! February 14, 2015
- Is my daughter’s wanting the powers of the Persuader really necessary? February 7, 2015
Archives
Networked Blogs
Categories
© 2022 Dad Flashes | Reports from the Front Lines of Fatherhood Nuclear powered by the geniuses at RE:Innovating LLCLogo illustration by Dan Vasconcellos.